Ba Da Ba Ba Baaaa I'm Lovin' It

Pharrell acting a fool. You've gotta love the French.

Isaac Mizrahi NY...Dot Com

Ok...so I stole the material for this post from Sharon and Cristina's Blog...so sue me - it's not that big a deal. I was just too excited to not say something about this: Isaac Mizrahi has an amazing website, and I'm pretty sure I'll end up becoming obsessed with it in much the same way I became obsessed with his show on the Style network. He's got a video blog, a blog, little web-isodes, and an "Ask Isaac" section (yes, I asked him a question - it was about dog harnesses, and we'll see if I get a response).
He's won 4 CFDA awards, which is pretty incroyable if you ask me. Not bad for a Jewish boy Flatbush.

There's One In All Of Us

Turning the pages of "Where The Wild Things Are" at bedtime is a very solid memory I have from my childhood. I remember really loving that book and reading it quite often...I wanted to be King of the Wild Things too!
Well, I just pulled it off the book shelf after seeing the news that Spike Jonze is coming out with his own cinematic interpretation of the classic, and realized it's much shorter than I remember - kid gets in trouble, kid creates magic world, kid parties it up with the wild things, kid goes home.
This is exciting for one reason; Dave Eggers. What the book lacks in length, his screenplay is sure to make up for 10 fold. He's a serious genius. If you haven't read "A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius" (see, he really is a genius!), then you should, quickly. I met him once in a lesbian/gay/transgenered book shop (don't ask) in Madison, WI and had him sign a book for my mother. He was lovely and just ooozed intelligence, and of course wrote something terribly smart and witty for her.
It's definitly one of those movies that could go either way - Amazing or Awful. It's coming out in October 2009. Can't wait.

It's Sun-Earth Day I'm In Love (Sung To The Tune of "It's Friday I'm In Love")

A friend of mine sent this clip to me. After a day of viewing it over and over and over again (seriously, be careful, it's oddly hypnotic), I'm still not really sure what to make of it. There's definitely some creepy Dharma Initiative "Hello, I'm Dr. Wick, welcome to the Pearl Station" undertones in it, as well as some pretty f*cking amusing NASA humor mixed in there (we all knew the people working there have to be pretty bizarro, didn't we?).
The whole schtick has something to do with the promotion of
"Sun Earth Day", which similarly to what my favorite day - "Earth Day" does, tries to get us to appreciate the sun in all it's glory. To me this seems like a difficult task because the sun is kinda scary as far as I'm concerned, and the planet Earth just seems so friendly. But, because this video is so strange and I appreciate that, I'll try my hardest to love the sun on March 20th.



Thanks, Jonjon.

Dude's Got A Lot Of Pugs

I'm going to see Valentino : The Last Emperor this Thursday at my mom's insistence. She could not stop raving about it (I think she feels a kindred spirit in him on account of the many small dogs similarity). It's playing at The Film Forum from 3.18 - 3.31, and it's made by a Wesleyan alum. Isn't everything made by one of those kids these days? C'mon kids-from-other-schools...do something to impress me...let's wipe that smug grin off their faces!
(If you went to Wesleyan, and are my friend - as some of you are - please don't take that outburst seriously)
Ok, Valentino is the man. Enjoy.

"So, Why Is Being Gay So Out This Season?"

Some very lucky people got to see about 20 minutes of Sacha Baron Cohen's new Bruno movie, Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt, at the South By Southwest music festival a couple of days ago. And, as we all could have guessed, it's a HIT! Apparently the plot revolves around super sexy Bruno adopting an African baby so he can "fit in" in Hollywood. He names this baby O.J. 'Nuff said.
The movie comes out in July, and I'm positive it's going to be a really funkyzeit!
Find my favorite Bruno moment below.

This Is Awesome!

It was only a matter of time...I introduce to you the ganja infused facebook - www.facebake.com
(cue the 2001 A Space Odyssey music)

P.S. At log-in, the site will automatically save your i.d. and password if you click on a link titled "I'm Probably Going To Forget This" - Genius.

Poopovers

Send Popovers as Gifts

Click here to send fresh popovers from Popover Cafe to your friends via Tigerbow. Absolutely no physical address required!

I saw the add above while perusing Facebook tonight...I have 2 issues with it...
First of all, that "popover" looks more like a "poopover". Whoever came up with this stroke of advertising genius should be fired - immediately.
Second of all, how exactly can I order one of these doodyball delights for my friends without providing anyone with an actual physical address? Yet another brilliant idea in action from the executatives at the Feces Food Factory (gag)!
Has the world gone mad??

Jolly Well Done

Like most American's, I first became really aware of Russell Brand when I saw him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (didn't like that movie too much the 1st time 'round, but that might have had something to do with the story line being awkward in regard to the company that I was watching it with...I won't get too into that here, suffice it to say, I liked it more on the 2nd go when watching it solo).
Anyway, back to Mr. Brand...I caught him a few times on Letterman and was instantly won over by his charm and cheekiness. He looks like a total freak and always leaves some section of pubic hair delinquently exposed but he uses words like "scullery" and "erudite"! How delightfully contradictory!
Having heard that he released his international best seller here in the U.S., I could not deny the urge to be a good American consumer and buy it immediately. It's called "My Booky Wook" (there he goes, being all pert again), and it's very hysterical and refreshingly honest. From recounting drug induced moments in his life when his brain reminded him of his "anus full of heroin", to questioning "what would Hitler do in this situation?", the book(y wook)'s got it all...and more.
Long live Russell Brand, and long live the Queen.

Mini Mose!

Happy News wishes a VERY Happy Birthday!!! to someone* very special who has never even read this bloooooog. We all love her anyway though.
Today also marks our 25th Anniversary - we met, fell in love, and became BFF's all in one brief, sparkling instant at Lennox Hill Hospital. Yay!
So, if you have her number, bump into her on the street, or are friends with her on facebook, go write something nice on her wall.



*Mini Mose

Drunk Texts

Are we becoming a generation of fall-on-the-floor drunks? Do we have less self-control than all the people that came before us?
Or, is it that we're all drunk on technology and have become so reliant on it that we can no longer think rationally for ourselves and instead need computers, cell phones and internet service providers to make the "tough" decisions for us?
A few months ago, someone told me about Gmail's new "drunk" feature - aka Mail Goggles - that prevents you from sending that embarrassing "i stilll oove you letss gt back togtre!" drunk-email to some person you dated an awkwardly long time ago by presenting you with a series of mathematical equations to solve before sending.
I haven't personally tried it, but being that I have paralyzing problems with multiplication and division I'm sure it would work like a charm on me.
Undoubtedly, it would be much more useful if these Goggles came in text message form, right?
Absolut Vodka has decided to prevent us from making total fools of ourselves, and has taken Google’s Goggle (say that 10 times fast) idea one step further with their “Text The Moment” campaign:

Heading out for the night? Got your wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Cell phone? Definitely check.

But, before you leave the house, ABSOLUT wants you to put your cell phone to good use by sending yourself a Recognize the Moment text message reminder.

'Text the Moment' is a simple way to plan ahead so you can be sure to drink responsibly. Just enter your mobile phone number, write a short message to yourself and schedule a delivery time. It may be just the reminder you need to remember to order water throughout the evening, or to hold off on dialing your ex at 2 o'clock in the morning.

So go on, text away...

Ok, I understand that Absolut is a company that pushes alcohol to the public, so they feel some sort of obligation to tell us about “responsible drinking” (what’s that?).
But really, if you need to set up a text message for yourself to tell you to get a glass of water instead of another red bull-vodka, then I’m pretty sure you have a problem. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if that problem is with alcohol or your blackberry.
And just to keep this on the more light-hearted side, I present you with a phenom. little animated short about our generation's inability to actually communicate with one another without the use of some sort of electronic device - Text Your Way To Love...enjoy, you little sexty (get it? sex + text) beasts, you.

Breaking Happy News

You Can Suck My Blood, Edward

There's no real good way to start this post...I've been trying to find the most un-embarrassing angle with which to approach it, but amazingly enough I've come up with absolutely NOTHING. Alright, so brace yourselves, I'm just going to come out with it...Ready? Steady? GO!
I LOVE THE TWILIGHT SAGA!
OMG, there I said it. What a huge sense of relief!
I don't know how many of you out there have dabbled in the steamy, sexual tension filled, Mormon vampire books (I'm sure there are more of you out there than you'd like to think), but if you haven't, in all honesty, you're missing out.
Listen - don't get me wrong - I like reading Richard Yates, Cormac McCarthy and Marcel Proust just as much as the next mid-twenties intellectual, but there is a time and a place for trashy, overly dramatic, poorly written books about a teenage vampire/human/werewolf love triangle!
And while I haven't seen the movie yet (yes, I will see it when it comes out on DVD on March 17th), I can tell you right now...there is also most definately a time and a place for a man called Robert Pattinson aka Edward. He's a bonafide dream boat (see the girls swooning in the picture above?), and just to drive this point home, I've decided to include a snippet of a conversation between me and another too-old-to-like-Twilight, Edward-obsessed friend of mine:

me: and, btw - robert pattinson makes my pulse race. is that his name? pattinson? patterson?

anonymous: pattinson i think

me: he is so hot

anonymous: he is unbelievably gorgeous... he looks so rugged, and he's a bad ass vampire. he's also a musician in his spare time...ah...love him!!

So, because I haven't really found anything else in the news that's really made me that happy today, I thought - why not call myself out, embarass myself a bit, and let the world (by world I mean the 4 people that read this blog) know that I ♥ Twilight and have a little-girl crush on a big movie star?!
Now, GO READ TWILIGHT!

Someone Get Sam Jackson On The Mutha-F*ckin Phone!

I'm surprised New Line Cinema hasn't slapped this guy with a fat lawsuit yet...he totttallly ripped off their movie!
In 2006 we were exposed to and caught Snakes On A Plane fever. In 2009 some douchebag in Australia seems to still be suffering from a really acute case of it. An unnamed 24 year old tried to smuggle a bag full of snakes and lizards onto a flight from Australia to Thailand this past weekend.
But, in an unscripted turn of events, he got caught before he even made it to the plane...idiot put the reptile-filled bag through the XRay machine! C'mon! It would have been so much more entertaining if he went airborne. Someone get the manager, I want my $12 back!
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot this isn't the movie starring Sam Jackson, this is real life stupidity.

"You Got It, Duuuuude"

Not to be mean, but I don't like the Olsen twins. Never understood the fascination there. Is it because there are 2 of them and they're little and blond? What's the deal? I didn't even like them when they were on Full House...did their little monkey faces freak nobody else out as a child?? (please see picture above)
Alright, even though I'm not of a fan of theirs, I am a huge fan of the clothes they make.
The Row is filled with simple, neatly cut, smart pieces - from perfect (but outrageously expensive) white tshirts to very nicely constructed banded pencil skirts with a sexy zipper down the butt...it's all lovely.
And now I've found their "cheap" "sportswear" line, Elizabeth and James. I'm not sure why they advertise it as cheap or sporty - it is neither. However, it is quite nice, and it did make me happy. Especially the black Tube Dress - willy wizards* is that a fine piece of work...
And if there's anyone out there who feels like getting yours truly a little gift for no reason at all, I wouldn't be unhappy with this ring (size 6)...
A girl can dream, right?

*A.B.Bunzl

Poop - It's What's For Dinner

Ummm...I think there's a line drawn in the sand between the appropriate, adventurous dining experiences, and the inappropriate...and I think that in this particular instance, we've crossed that line. Let's be serious - the owners of this CHAIN (i can't believe it's a chain!) of restaurants in Taiwan have people eating out of mini-toilets and drinking out of teeny tiny urinals. What sickos! Even children - pee and poop champions! - are turned off...

"There's poop everywhere! Y-u-c-k," says 6-year-old Jordan Lien as he and his family dine at the Modern Toilet, a popular Taiwanese restaurant chain that's expanding into China and other parts of Asia. The boy was looking at the poop-shaped lights and dish covers and the curry on toilet-shaped plates.

Poopy lamps!?!? Gag me with a spoon and tell me this restaurant will NEVER make it's way over to these parts...pretty pretty please with a turd on top.

Mista Sheffield, There's A Cow Awn Tha Turnpike!

It looks like the Douglas' from the 1960's TV show Green Acres could have found a happy compromise if this place had been around back then.

While farm livin' was the life for him, she just adored a pent house view...or so the song went...

Anyway, I'm sure they would've settled for Queens, right?

As soon as the snow/ice/disgusting salt-slush grossness melts away, I'll be taking a trip out to Queens County Farm to see if it's really as cool as I think it is. 

I Mooo New York.

I Ain't No Wuss, But...

I would NOT feel very comfortable taking a walk across this mural. Seriously, I feel dizzy just looking at it. Despite my mild fear of heights, I've gotta say...this is WAY cool.

Flipper's A Flamer

Holy smokes, Batman! This is the best freak-of-nature news to hit the animal kingdom since the elusive, and as it turns out not so fantastical, unicorn was spotted in Italy (of course) a few months ago! There's a pink dolphin in Louisiana! A PINK DOLPHIN! How absolutely fantastic is that?
I couldn't be much happier right now. Check it out, dudes!
By the way, the telegraph.co.uk must have a whole staff division dedicated to finding mystical creatures of yore. What's next - an Orc?

"Mr. Pepall, every day is now casual Friday for you..."

Excerpt from "Memo From the CEO" by Patricia Marx

The “Don’t Leave Your Coffee Cups on Joan Fulenwider’s Desk: It’s Not a Trash Can (Well, It Kind of Is!)” rule will remain in place, although, as of next week, Ms. Fulenwider will not. We are all sad to see Ms. Fulenwider go, but can we agree that this is a blessing in disguise, since, clearly, it is now or never for her as far as starting a family goes? Good luck, Joan, and kindly return the stapler on your way out.

Patricia Marx wrote one of my favorite books of 2008...aww, screw it...of EVER! If you haven't read "Him Her Him Again The End of Him" yet (especially if you're a girl who has dealt with her share of selfishness and narcissism on the behalf of her adored - and let's be honest, ladies, who hasn't?) then you absolutely have to tack it onto your summer reading list. You won't be sorry.
In the meantime though, Ms. Marx has written a short piece for the New Yorker's Shouts and Murmers section this week, and it's very funny.
Right or wrong? - The employees at AIG only wish they got a similar memo this morning.

What A Crane In The Ass

No, that picture wasn't doctored. And yes, the crane was really THAT tall. I should know...I lived across the street from it for months! With every gust of wind it would lean a little closer to our living room windows...scary biz.
But don't worry - if it ever had decided to make a grand entrance (and by "grand entrance" I mean demolishing the place), that monster-crane would have been met by a very friendly welcome committee of myself, my mother, the zoo and a brand-spankin' new homeowners insurance policy! PARTY!!
On a very happy note, that crane is finally gone...we can all breathe easier now...aaah.