Silly White Folk

I'm having a non-birthday birthday party tonight and I feel like crap. Recipe for disaster. Luckily, I stumbled upon this website and it made me hopeful and happy. Like really, really happy.
Whoever's behind this blog is genius, and I don't care if I just called myself out as a huge white dork!
Every entry is so right-on it's almost spooky.
Take a look at what i mean...
Stuff White People Like :
#62: Knowing What's Best For Poor People
#71: Being The Only White Person Around
#102: Children's Games As Adults *
#105: Unpaid Internships *
Check out StuffWhitePeopleLike for a good time...HIGHLY suggested.

(*=guilty)

Little Nutjob

I'm torn. Half of me wants to give this kid a fresh one right across his little rosy cheek and the other half wants to embrace him in a big bear hug and give him an affectionate noogie.
While creeping me out and making me feel mildly concerned, he also gained my respect for at least being the most articulate conservative I've heard for a while...oh yeah, he's 13.
T.G.I.F., have a drink - relax - it's the weekend!

Oh, Docta! What Good News!

Guys, this is Awesome! A study just came out stating that caffeine has protective powers against skin cancer!!! Ding Ding Ding Ding!
I am so glad that I jumped on the coffee bandwagon last year right now.
And, to top the greatness off, my very own dermatologist, Dr. Albert Lefkowitz is quoted in the study (though he's the debby downer who says that, "while this is an interesting concept that has been explored before, it will take years of extensive testing to determine whether this will be a worthwhile prevention method")...whaaa-whaaa.
Ok, off i go to brew up a pot a joe.

Dotty's Car Is Dead

Ok. The PT Cruiser. Who actually liked this car? Anyone?...Anyone?...Bueller?
But seriously, this car is by FAR the fugliest automobile to ever come off the assembly line.
My high school dean had one that made me want to barf for the last few months of my senior year. It haunted me. And then a few years ago during spring break in SOBE, some friends and I had the pleasure of renting a silver (?) PT Cruiser CONVERTIBLE!!! Oy, the horra!
So, what I'm sure will be the BEST news of today is this....the PT Cruiser - eye-sore of the century - is DEAD!
In other news, if you do decide to read the article, how creepy is that "reptilian" Dr. Clotaire Rapaille character? A total freak show...
Byebye PTC!

Do the Dew

I dont like Mountain Dew or Pepsi toooo much, but I do like real sugar a lot more than HFCS (high fructose corn syrup)!!
PepsiCo has decided to try re-integrating sugar into our soda's with these "throwback" pop's. Pretty neat!
Come the summer time, I'm sure I'll learn to do the dew...
Thanks, Rach.

Auf Deutsch, Die Brücke

The Neue Galerie is the jump-off. Aside from being exquisitely beautiful itself, it's also home to some really lovely art. Sadly, I haven't been back for a couple of years but after seeing this in the Times, I have no more excuses.
I'd never heard of the "Brücke" movement before, but I'm pretty sure it's fab already...

"The Brücke artists were among the Peter Pans of Modernism. They refused to grow up or pipe down. Their art had a palpable Dada swagger before Dada, but their dreams had not yet been trammeled by World War I. Theirs was still a fairly cheerful barbarism. They were wary of the alienation and fragmentation of city life. At least until they relocated to Berlin in 1911, they thought they could regain what was good and natural if they just took off their clothes, danced around a bit and made art. Their idea of a good time was a communal painting session using several nude models who didn’t assume static poses, but lounged or cavorted at will."

Sh****t, they came with that Dada swagger before Dada!!! Oooooh.
I can't wait to head to 86th and 5th to catch the show. And one HUGE plus - Cafe Sabarsky, which is located in the Galerie. The food and the coffee is next-level.
Glücklich!!

So What's The Deal With Marriage?

It's rare for me to come across an episode of Seinfeld that I haven't seen at least once, but I know some people who are even more well-versed than I in the series (we all know who they are), and I can only aspire to be like them one day...kind of...
Anyway, Jerry's back! And this time, instead of bachelorhood, he's tackling married life in a new REALITY series!!! Huh??? Let's just hope our boy doesn't end up in the Kardashian house...yuck.
Mr. Seinfeld had this to say,

"After nine years of marriage, I have discovered that the comedic potential of this subject is quite rich."

I realllly hope that the first episode sheds some reality light on the marital woes of Kramer and Newman. That would just rock my world.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Click the icon below and see if you can hear the high-pitched, obscenely annoying sound that comes leaking out of your computer speakers.
Apparently it can only be audibly detected by people younger than 25...but I heard it and I didn't appreciate it.
What I did appreciate though was that I can still hear things that only the young are supposed to hear!
FAR OUT!

Created by Train Horn

Doggie Envy Lab Report

I have 2 dogs - they are the absolute best, most brilliant, insanely smart dogs to have ever existed...ever. Obviously.
Anyway, since I have 2 I've always wondered if one can ever really be jealous of the other...like jealous-jealous.
In order to come to some sort of conclusion, I performed a good old fashioned experiment...

Doggie Envy Lab Report
Purpose: To determine if dogs can be jealous or envious of one another.
Hypothesis: Dogs can be jealous of one another.
Materials: 2 miniature long-haired dachshunds (O and L), 1 bag of baa-baa-q's, 1 adoring owner (J)
Procedure: Took a single baa-baa-q from bag. Gave said bbq to 1 dachshund (L), who started gnawing and enjoying. Other dachshund (O) looked on in what appeared to be disbelief. O then turned attention to aforementioned adoring owner (J). Expression turned from disbelief to anger and finally to absolute disgust. O proceeded to fly into what can only be described as a "Jealous Rage" (mad barking, drop-kick attempt on L, "fake-out" technique used as distraction, frantic and spontaneous attempts at biting through Adoring Owner (J)'s achilles tendon).
Conclusion: Dogs can be jealous of one another.

ScienceDaily is backing me up on this! I'm a bonafide SCIENTIST, guys!!!

Gordon Who? Oooh, Gordon Voidwell!

It makes me happy when my friends are doing well in life.
It should make you happy too.
Check out Gordon Voidwell - it's impossible to get "White Friends" out of your head once you've heard it...I double dare anyone to try!
Addictif! (french accent)

Visit his page on myspace.com to hear the off-the-hookness...my computer's being disagreeable.

www.myspace.com/gordonvoidwell

Day Glow My Heart

Usually I'm a simple girl when it comes to my apparel color-schemes. I like black and white. Sometimes I'll throw in a little grey, but just to accent my monotone uniform.
But recently, something funny started to happen - I felt myself being pulled to....NEONS! At first I was like "Wha happened?", and I tried to fight the electric urge with all my might.
And then, as most stories like this go, I ended up in Miami and my battle with the neon was lost in an instant when I laid eyes on a hot pink racer-back tank from Alexander Wang.
I know fashion week was a little while ago, but I didn't really take any notice of it...until now.
Apparently, the neon epidemic has spread like wild fire with everyone from Narciso to Marc diving headfirst into the looney bin.
And while I'm sure that there are those of you out there who can't help but want to scream "isolate him, isolate him!" (Outbreak style), I've just gotta say I've been bitten by the neon bug and i loooovvvvveeee it.
Happiness.
P.S. this post would not have been made possible without the lime green support and hot pink guidance of Liana KG.

Eat Like An Eagle

Fantastic! The Kid's back...and digging into Eric Ripert at Le Bernardin.
David Fishman is a 12 year old aspiring food critic and a fellow Fieldston Eagle...seriously, I can only hope I have a kid as precocious as he is one day.

“My first bite was of a plump Kumamoto oyster with green apples, a taste of fish and ocean united with sour apples and earth. The fabulous flavors battled long in my mouth. The second, oyster with shiso mint, was dizzying, but my favorite was oyster in ponzu sauce.”

He said the flavors battled long in his mouth! How very 19th century of him...little schmucko.
And that was just a TASTE of his critiqqquuueee...check out more here.
Bete'avon, suckas.

Koopa Troopas Come Back (Again)

Someone gave me a Nintendo DS for my birthday a few years ago - one of the funkiest gifts I've ever recieved - and I could NOT put it down for weeks! Between that BrainAge game and my all time fav. Princess Peach, I spent a lot of waking hours thinking to myself "Just one more level and then I'll put it down"...ugh - my eyes feel dry and bloodshot even thinking about it.
So, just when I seem to have gotten over that sunlight deprived phase of my life, and my quickie Wii obsession, they pulllll me back in (Al Pacino as Michael Corleone voice).
The Nintendo DSi is coming out soon (April-ish) and I'm just glad it's not this cool, and instead, only this cool.

Holy Calamity Scream INSANITY!

This is waaaayyyy cool. I can see this fishy's brain!!

Freak Fish.

Fatty Crab! (Happy Face!)

I've been crab fishing once in Maryland when I was young. We went out on a teeny tiny boat with a lot of raw, juicy, cubed beef for the little suckers to claw onto. After the terrifying experience of rowing back to shore while a few of them crawled around the floor snapping their pinchers in protest, we killed them and made them into crab cakes!! Finga lickin' good!
Though it doesn't look like this place will be serving any run-of-the-mill crab cakes, I CANNOT wait to get down with a whole bunch of stuff on their menu. And it's got the BEST name ever...who doesn't want to just shout out, "Let's go down to Fatty Crab!"???
Plus....UWS hood. Yay!

Addendum :
Rachel: btw though, fatty crab has existed downtown for a long time
me: oh crap. thanks for the info

Rachel: ya, you may want to revise

me: i'll have to addendum that bitch
Rachel: but that's really exciting that it's coming uptown!! UWS is on fira. fire (but pronounce FYE-YA).

Slap the Butcha!

Everyone's favorite Triple Threat - Mr. G!
Let the LOL's and ROTFL's begin!

...But Liquor is Quicker

My dear friend Sarah (the Happy Chef) just told me about something that made me REALLY happy...
It's called Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, and it sounds just lovely!
Despite my eastern-European Ashkinaz heritage, there seems to be a down-home Southern girl deep within me. Maybe that's why vodka spiked tea sounds so idyllic.
Here's an excerpt from the article in the NYTimes :

“We wanted to be the Jack Daniels of vodka,” he said. “I couldn’t think of anything more Southern than Sweet Tea Vodka.”

The drink made its debut last April. By September, it was sold in 12 states. By March, they hope to reach all 50 states. “I was shocked by how fast it was going,” said Mr. Newitt, who declined to provide sales figures because, he said, other distilleries are planning their versions.

Indeed, Burnett’s Vodka, from Kentucky, unveiled its own sweet tea vodka last month.

For Firefly Distillery, the South is a source not only of inspiration but ingredients. The vodka is distilled, in part, from wine of muscadine grapes, native to Southern states. Some of the tea that is infused in the vodka, after sugar is baked into the leaves, is grown on the Charleston Tea Plantation, about five miles from the distillery.

Firefly introduced new flavors this month, including peach, lemon and mint. But sweet tea loyalists question whether the distillery’s luck will repeat itself.

Drink up folks!

Something's Out There

The ones who know me well know all about my deep love for one Gordon Shumway - aka A.L.F.
When I was a little girl I was craaazy obsessed. A.L.F. is featured in every school picture of mine from nursery school up 'till 2nd grade. We were so cool together - the intergalactic bonnie and clyde of elementary school.
Anyway, I love aliens and I really hope that one day they come down for a visit. Who knows - maybe I'll even be able to hitch a ride to Melmac and hang out with TONS of A.L.F's! Far out!!
That's why this piece of news made me Happy...
It's a long article, so I'll save you some time an aggravation and just tell you that Alan Boss from NASA is convinced that there is at least one Earth-like planet rotating around every star in the Milky Way - or something like that...TBH, I got too excited to finish reading it.
YAY! Three cheers for the possibility of life on other planets!

Candy is Dandy...

This kid would totally be my idol if he hadn't got slapped with 2 counts of felony...

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio - An Ohio teenager allegedly tried to pull off a sweet deal by ordering more than $37,000 of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school.

Police say the 18-year-old used a Middletown High School purchasing number to place orders for thousands of lollipops and candy bars from Michigan-based The Goodies Factory. It wasn't clear how he accessed the number.

Even though I know that theft is "wrong" I can't help but smile when the stolen objects of desire can melt in your mouth.
Yay for Candy!

A Brief What's What...

In these crazy times we live in, it seems like there's just no news that's good news.
We've got an economy in a virtual free-fall over here, North Korea and Iran flexing their nuclear muscles over there, and now Spain might be going bankrupt! SPAIN!
Well I'm sick of it, people. I want some good news - some Happy News - once in a while...you feel me?
So, from here on out I'm seeking only the sunniest, most sugar-coated, smile-so-big-it-hurts-your-cheeks type of stories and I'll be sharing all my high-spirited finds here...at Happy News.
Enjoy!

Tobias Funke Just Blue Himself

So our old friends over in Arrested Development land finally got their sh*t together and....YAY! They're making a movieeeee!!!!
check it out....on IMDB and everything...totally legit.